


They're Not My Moms

by Swak7



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Comedy, F/F, Gen, Humor, Light Introspection, Lysithea POV, POV First Person, Post-Crimson Flower
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21766042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swak7/pseuds/Swak7
Summary: Remove her Crests, and she'll consider assisting in Crest research.That was the deal Lysithea and Hanneman made to each other before working to extract her Crests.Having both of them removed, she finds herself on her way to the Imperial Capital to assist his research for the next six months.While dealing with Crestology may not sound too bad on paper, she also has to deal with an Emperor and Empress who seem to make it a priority to treat her like a child, more specificallytheirchild.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 43
Kudos: 346





	1. Getting Reacquainted

“The Imperial Capital is in sight, we’ll be arriving before long!”

The yell came from the scout. Honestly why they took this much precaution in escorting me to Enbarr of all places is absurd. It only takes around two days at most on horseback to get from Ordelia territory to the Capital.

Yet here I am being escorted by an entire convoy sent by the Emperor herself, feels like I’m on another war tour. If not for the fantastic quality of this trip I would almost be insulted, I must hand it to Edelgard, these carriages are first-class. Though I really hope this is only going to be a one-time thing for a former ally because this sort of treatment for the next six months might end up being the death of me…

_The death of me._

It really is weird thinking of stuff like that when just a year ago I wouldn’t even dare think so lightly of my own mortality. But since the Crest removal procedure was successful, I feel myself relaxing and being way less serious now.

I don’t know how I should feel about that.

On one hand, I no longer need to worry about a shortened lifespan. On the other, I have absolutely no idea what to do with my life now.

It felt so simple before, set up a good life for my parents after I’m gone. Doing that would’ve made my life more than fulfilling. Now they’re doing just fine, and I have a newly regained life ahead of me.

24 and only now am I actually considering what to make of myself, the thought’s only a bit terrifying. To top it all off I’m on my way to Enbarr to assist with Professor Hanneman’s Crest research for half a year. That was our agreement; help him with his Crestology research if he helps to remove my Crests.

Before I would think that would’ve been an insane amount of time to spend on Crests, now it hardly seems like anything. It’s making me feel kinda bad too, Professor Hanneman goes and spends two whole years living with my family, _after_ we abandoned our nobility, and helped rid me of my Crests. I repay him by only spending a fourth of that time helping him with his Crest research. It feels wrong, but I can’t leave my parents alone for too long.

_“Your Mother and I will be just fine here, it’s time you live your own life for once.”_

Why am I thinking what he said now? That was all pretty easy for you to say Father. You’re retired! Meanwhile I have no idea what to do with my life, and now I have to waste my time researching Crests of all things rather than finding out what I should do with it.

Though I guess I could be doing something worse than studying Crests. They can have their merits at times. Like how they affect and stimulate the body, or even how they can manipulate forces outside it. In fact, they may have some degree of effect over the weather itsel-

Goddess I’m thinking like Professor Hanneman again.

“These six months are going to be long.”

I can feel that my groan there is gonna end up being spot-on.

* * *

“The escort of Lady Lysithea to Enbarr has been a success! Please inform her Majesty that we have arrived in the courtyard!”

Aaaaah, nothing feels better than a nice stretch after a long trip like that. I can’t deny it also feels a little nice getting such a warm welcome, albeit a little weird hearing the whole ‘Lady’ title before my name again.

The knights who escorted me are lining up to the main doors of the castle. The doors open and there’s a face I’ve definitely missed.

Edelgard barely seemed to age even a day since the war. Still clad in red, but her attire now doesn’t seem so heavily armored anymore. Still also wearing her old horned crown, though now her hair is let loose around it rather than in the buns as it once was. It looks like I wasn’t the only one who mellowed out a bit, because Edelgard is looking way more relaxed than I can ever remember her being.

She’s already found her way to me to pull me into a big hug and-

Wow, I forgot how short she was. Goddess she always gave off the presence of being a head taller than everyone. I think _I_ have a couple centimeters over her, holy moly this woman is tiny.

“It’s great to see you again Lysithea.” Taking me out of the hug and staring at her face-to-face, I should try and break thoughts like that for now. I’ve never seen her have such a warm smile before; I don’t want to slip up and sour her mood.

“Likewise for you as well, Edelgard.”

The Knights lined up all tense-up to that. Odd, they’re acting in almost complete opposite to the mood.

“I assume you completed this journey without hesitations?” What the? Her entire attitude just flipped the moment she addressed my driver. Well I guess that would explain the weird tension with the knights.

“Y-yes your grace,” Poor guy, she probably stuck Hubert on him or something to make him this nervous. “And like you predicted Your Majesty, Lady Lysithea played with the seats in the carriage for the first hours of the trip

She even had him document the entire- Wait.

“I did not ‘play’ with my seats! I don’t think _you_ understand just how comfortable those seats in that carriage were, things like that don’t just appear in your life. Also what do you mean a ‘couple’ of hours? It was only one hour, at most. Singular, not plural!”

“Now, now, It’s not right to hassle your driver after such a long trip, is it?” That’s rich coming from the same woman who just talked to him down like a soldier. “Regardless, those carriages are indeed first-class, made especially for the Emperor and Empress. It’s no surprise that you would enjoy the seating as much you did, there’s no shame in you playing with them.”

The utter gall this woman has to talk to me, an adult, in the middle of my twenties, and treat me like some kid.

Now she’s starting to pat my head, this is becoming absurd! “Would you quit that! I thought we were finished with this after the war!”

“Is it so wrong for me to be considerate for the well-being of a former, precious ally?”

Well when she puts it that way I, wait, is she still patting my head?! Is she really doing this? Why did I feel bad for being amused by her tininess? I should call ‘Shorty’ right now and see how she feels about that!

So help me if she says ‘good girl’.

“Oh El,” Thank the Goddess an angel has come to rescue me from this torture, it’s the Professor. “You know she hates it when you go and baby her like that.”

She’s already pulling me into a hug, and a lot like Edelgard, she barely seems to have aged a day.

The Professor is no longer wearing her old armor and collar; instead she’s simply wearing the old shirt she would keep under it all. Apart from that, her attire has changed a lot since the war. She doesn’t have her old baggy jacket she’d wear incorrectly on her shoulders, now it’s a casual, black jacket that’s properly worn on her. She also dropped the shorts and tights for long, slim, black pants. Aside from that she’s still the same old Professor.

Ah, how I’ve missed the Professor, she always knew how to treat me.

“I’m not babying her, Byleth.” Edelgard let out with a puff. “Like I told her, she was our precious ally from the war. Not only that but you planned out the trip just as much as I did! Is it really so wrong to spoil her a little?”

“Well when you put it like that…” Releasing the hug but keeping a grasp on my shoulders, looking at me with her deep blue eyes, “You won’t stay mad at El for too long, would you?”

“Well I suppose the trip wasn’t _horrible_ , so I can overlook the Emperor’s pampering this time.”

The Professor pulls me right back into a hug, “It’s good to see you again Lysithea.”

“You too, Professor” Being with the Professor and Edelgard again could certainly make this stay at least a little more enjoyable.

I don’t feel right saying a war was the best time of my life, but the moments I shared with them in that time I cherish more than anything.

Though I can do without the whole kid treatment _one_ of them keeps doing.

Professor breaks our hug as Edelgard walks to us. She makes some signal to the knights and all of them disperse. They all look like they just survived a suicide mission, poor guys. “Well, shall we give you a tour of your new home for the next half-year?”

Well I guess it couldn’t hurt, “It would certainly help to know my way around. Very well, lead the way.”

My response seemed to make her happy as we start walking into the castle, with Edelgard leading and the Professor along my side.

* * *

“Oh!” The Professor spoke up suddenly, “I forgot to ask how your trip was. Did you enjoy riding in our carriage?”

“Yes definitely! It was super-uh, adequate, yes quite adequate and very comfortable.” Thank goodness, Professor’s outburst caught me off guard but I managed to salvage it by the end. I don’t need anyone hearing me say ‘super fun’, especially Edelgard.

“She _investigated_ the seats for the first hour or so.” Ugh, speak of the devil. Couldn’t she just say I played with them for a couple of hours or something? Her patronizing is somehow more agonizing than her coddling.

“Aren’t they comfortable? Riding in it always gets me so excited to go on any trip.” Professor gushing about the carriage does reassure my own thoughts on it, but…

“Do you ride in it often?”

“Only when El needs to leave the capital for her duties. Aside from that, we don't use them all too much.”

Accompanying Edelgard on diplomatic travels is one thing, but she gets to ride in the emperor’s special carriage made specially for the royal family? Geez, maybe I’m not the only one that Edelgard likes pampering. Also what is with the whole ‘El’ nickname?

“Is something the matter Lysithea?” Edelgard must’ve noticed me lost in thought.

“Nothing really, just thinking how you and the Professor are still as close as ever, that’s all.”

“We certainly are,” The Professor chimes in with a giggle. “A side effect of a loving marriage, I suppose.”

Seeing that Edelgard’s face looks about as red as the rest of her clothes definitely confirms that. Makes sense though, since it is Edelgard and the Professor, it also explains the whole carriage situation and sentimental nickname.

…

Wait.

“You two got married!?”

These jerks got married and didn’t even tell me? And why do they both look so shocked now?

“You didn’t know? I made sure that the members of the Black Eagle Strike Force were invited first and foremost.”

If Edelgard made sure, then something must’ve got in the way of my invite.

“Actually, you never did respond to the invitation. It really worried El and I. It’s even what made Hanneman set out to make sure you were alright.”

Now that the Professor mentions it, Professor Hanneman did seem oddly relieved to see me again only a short time after the war.

“Yes and Professor Hanneman even wrote to us stating you didn’t want to attend the wedding. It was certainly disappointing but I respected your choice. Though I was excited for you to attend, I even went to the measures of creating a special role just for you.” Edelgard added.

“What? I didn’t tell Professor Hanneman anything about not wanting to ‘attend a wedding’, all I even remember telling him was-

…

When exactly did you two get married?”

“About half a year after the war. Byleth proposed right after, but I wanted it to be perfect for us.”

I think I understand now. “And did that special role you mentioned happen to be the ‘Child of Honor'?”

That seemed to perk Edelgard up, “Yes, that’s right! I was beginning to worry the invitation may have been compromised in some way.”

“Invitation!? Over half of that letter was some giant text about how I’m ‘hereby deemed to be the Adrestian Empire’s Child of Honor’, whatever that even means. I thought you were insulting me and ripped it up. The thing never even mentioned a wedding!”

That looked like it shocked the Professor, “You forgot to mention our wedding?”

“I most certainly did not! It was just underneath the… admittedly large title. I know for a fact it said afterwards: ‘for Byleth and Edelgard’s wedding’, along with many other details about the wedding.”

“That stuff was super tiny and looked like a bunch of dumb conditions for whatever dumb thing you wanted me to be. I wouldn’t have read all that even if I did accept!”

This tiny woman’s ridiculous coddling made me miss her wedding! What is the matter with her?

And to make matters worse, there’s now just an uncomfortable silence among the three of us.

“Well…” I’m starting to feel grateful Edelgard wised up and married the Professor. I don’t know if I, or better yet she, would’ve survived this long without her here. “There’s no use arguing about it now. But there is definitely a solution to this.”

“There is?” Edelgard and I seem to be equally confused to that statement seeing we both had to ask.

The Professor pumps her hands up in excitement, “Me and El just have to renew our vows!”

I guess that’s one way to fix it. Edelgard seems on board, seeing she’s got a hand to her cheek and is just about to swoon. “Oh Byleth…”

Oh brother.

“And this time,” Professor puts her hand on my shoulder, “You can be our flower girl.”

What am I, five? What kind of proposition is this? I thought you were on my side.

“That sounds wonderful Byleth.” Of course _she_ would agree to that.

“And by being the flower girl, you’ll symbolize a great flourishing of our relationship. We didn’t even have one at our wedding, this is the highest honor someone in the Empire can receive, with this you’ll-“

What in the Goddess’s name is this woman rambling about? You probably didn’t have one at your wedding because your whole ‘Child of Honor’ was just a glorified flower girl to begin with. Now you’re just calling me flower girl and acting like it’s way more important than what it is.

The Professor moved to my side to whisper something to me, “It’s also Adrestian tradition for the flower girl to be the one who selects all the treats to be served, and is first to eat them.”

_Selects all the treats AND is first to eat them…_

“For now I’ll consider it. Let’s just get back to my tour of the castle.”

Giving me a smile to that, Edelgard turns to continue our tour.

* * *

“That was exhausting.” I figured the castle would be big, but I never thought it would be this big. Though Edelgard’s commentary really didn’t help shortening that.

Figures our final stop would be at the Crestology Lab, conveniently located right next to my room. I guess Edelgard was worried Professor Hanneman might steal me away, though now it seems he’s wrapping up research for today.

“It seems the Emperor was thorough in her guide of the castle.”’ My exhaustion is giving Professor Hanneman quite the chuckle.

“She was incredibly determined to make sure that I would never get lost in this place.”

“Well the castle can be a labyrinth if you take just a single wrong turn, I wouldn’t hold it too much against her. Lady Edelgard highly values your wellbeing; she was worried sick when you never responded back to their invitation.

If you could believe it, she and Lady Byleth even postponed the ceremony and cancelled their honeymoon until word came back from me about how you were doing.”

I didn’t think they would that concerned, “They didn’t even have a honeymoon?”

“Now rest assured, when I informed them of your well-being they were perfectly content with just continuing with the wedding.”

“You know, I only just found about their marriage today.”

His eyes widened to that, “What do you mean? I vividly remember you told me you ripped up their invitation after receiving it.”

“No, I ripped up the ‘Adrestian Empire’s Child of Honor’ invite. The wedding was barely mentioned in it. Regardless, how come you didn’t just pester me to go to the capital for the wedding? I would’ve accepted it if I knew what it was for.”

“Well, Lady Edelgard and Lady Byleth placed your wellbeing over the wedding and wanted to make sure you were okay first and foremost. When I informed them that you… declined the invitation, Lady Edelgard said she’d respect your choice and would wait for you to come to the capital when you’d feel comfortable with it.”

I can’t decide if I should feel flattered or not.

I really do treasure the relationship I have with Edelgard, but sometimes the way she always tries to watch over me like some guardian can _really_ get on my nerves. Though I suppose she does do it out of compassion, I should remember to try and apologize to her and the Professor for getting them worried about me.

“But you know, after living with you and your family the last two years, I think coming here now will do a lot of good for you.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, you’ve always went out of your way to be the one who supports your parents rather the other way around. Acting like a caretaker more so a daughter. Being here, I think it will do you good to be under such supportive parental figures.”

“Uh, Professor Hanneman I do respect you greatly, and for what you’ve done to help with my Crests I’ll be eternally grateful for. But I only really see you as a mentor, not a second father, sorry to say.” What’s making him bring this up now?

Professor Hanneman let out a laugh to that, “Oh goodness I wasn’t referring to myself, though hearing that you see me as a mentor is very gratifying. No, I was referring to Lady Edelgard and Lady Byleth for those roles.”

Oh, Well when he puts it like-

Huh?

“Huh?”

“You’re always so energetic when you’re with those two; I see them as very positive guiding forces in your life.”

Huh?

“Lysithea are you alright? Your face is getting incredibly pale.”

“Hanneman. Never. Ever. Under any circumstances. Refer to those two as my Moms ever again.”

“Well I didn’t call them your ‘Mothers’, just parental figures.“

The gall of this old man! “That’s the same thing! They’re not my Moms! This conversation is officially over, leave at once!”

“For one, this is _my_ lab; I run the entirety of Crestology research for the Empire, I’ll have you know. Two, parental figure is not simply a ‘Mother’, or a ‘Father’ for that matter. It is a guardian watching over someone they care for. For example, I acted as a guardian of sorts for my younger Sister when our Father was too busy with his affairs to look after us. It is a guiding figure, nothing more.”

“Hanneman.”

“And three, you are doing a terrible job convincing me when I have never even once heard you say ‘Mom’ to your own birth Mother.”

Aaaagh! That’s it! I’m pointing to the door, if he doesn’t get the message: I’ll vaporize him.

“What are you- You can’t just-“ The old man lets out a groan, “Fine, very well.” And he makes his way out of my presence.

The very nerve of that old nincompoop! Calling Edelgard and the Professor my Moms, or Mothers, or parental whatever! Just absurd!

…

“These six months are going to be very, very, very long. “

Goddess help me.


	2. Slip of the Tongue

“Uggghh”

“Come on, wake up! Don’t go and ‘ugh’ me, it’s going to be too nice a day for you to be sleeping in.”

Here I thought the Professor was on my side. I was wrong; she’s a tyrant. It’s way too early in the morning to be getting up.

“Just let me sleep a little bit longer, please.”

“You already said that ‘a little longer’ ago. Come on, El is having the chefs make a special breakfast just for you this morning.”

Couldn’t they just make it later, like around noon? I’d ask, but I’m awake enough to know that would just get on the Professor’s bad side.

“Well if I can’t get you up. I might just go call El to help me out with this…”

Anything but that.

“Fine, fine, you win. I’m getting up now.”

…

I should be up and getting ready for the day at this point, but I can’t leave this bed. It’s too comfortable.

“Help me up Professor…”

That gave her a giggle before she pulled me up. Now I just need to get ready for the rest of the day. I can feel it’s going to be a long one.

* * *

I have absolutely no idea what this dish is, but it’s absolutely delicious! The soft texture of the pastry, the sweetness added in by fruit on the side, and the heavenly syrup coated over the top; It’s like cake, but for breakfast. What bliss, my stay has been made worth it for this divine sweet alone.

“They’re called ‘pancakes’. Made recently by our chefs, I’m quite fond of them myself. I assume they suit your tastes as well?”

“Mmm-hmm”

A pan _cake_? Well that certainly explains this deliciousness. I’ll be sure to give my compliments to the chefs for blessing the world with this creation. Though I can really do without the looks Edelgard is giving me right now. She better not be looking for seconds after finishing hers so fast.

“If you want my pancakes you can look somewhere else.”

That gave her a laugh, “Oh no worries, I have no interest in your pancakes. Besides I had Byleth’s share included in my own, so I’m full.”

Wait, she had two servings? That’s no fair. I would’ve definitely taken the Professor’s pancake if she wasn’t going to be here.

Speaking of which, “Where is the Professor? She seemed real determined to get me here earlier.”

“She fishes at the pond early in the morning on weekends. I asked her to wake you up before she left. She’ll return just around noon, and just goes to eat whatever she ended up catching.”

“I guess some things haven’t changed all too much. Even being royalty, the Professor still spends most her free time fishing.”

Both Edelgard and I laugh to that one, “Yes, once she found out about it, she was determined to try and fish there at least once. And after the first time, it slowly became a habit for her like usual. It’s a very relaxing location, and has even become a famous fishing spot for the townspeople after they saw how often Byleth would go there.”

That makes sense, the Professor did have a sort of ability that just drew people towards her. It’s one of the reasons why so many people transferred to her class at Garreg Mach, and probably is what’s making Edelgard seem so approachable now.

“But enough about that, I’d like to hear how you have been these past years.”

“Me? Ah well, soon after the War my family dropped our nobility title-“

“And you moved to live with the commonfolk in Ordelia territory. Albeit your house was a little ways off from the local village.”

“Uh, yeah.

Sometime later Professor Hanneman showed up, though I believe he already wrote a bit about that to you and the Professor-“

“Yes, I asked for him to inform us of your status the moment he arrived. Upon hearing you wanted to simply be left alone, I respected your wishes and left it at that. Though I did ask to still be informed on your wellbeing while he was working with you and made sure that he would keep true to his word and stayed with you until he could remove your Crest like he promised during the War.”

…

“Right.

Then after two years of constant research and experimentation-“

“You were successful in removing both of your Crests, and now have moved to the Capital to fulfill your end of the deal with Hanneman.”

“Well alright then! You seem to know what I’ve been doing almost better than I do.”

“I wouldn’t say that, Byleth and I were just worried about your situation. If you ended up dying while we stood by ignorant to it all, I don’t know if we would able to forgive ourselves.”

“Professor Hanneman did tell me that you both postponed the wedding and cancelled your honeymoon until you got word back from him. I am sorry about all that, I didn’t mean to worry you two so much.”

“It’s no issue, really. The wedding went without a hitch afterwards.”

With the way she‘s brushing that off I should apologize to Hubert too, he was definitely the one setting it up.

“All that was important was to have an official ceremony to celebrate a new era dawning for the leading power in the Adrestian Empire.” She’s starting to giggle now, “Besides, every day with Byleth is like a honeymoon.”

Aw yuck, I think I lost my appetite.

Thankfully I was about done with my meal, and I would like to see what other sweets the chefs are serving up later. So this will do. “I think I’ve had my fill for now. Professor Hanneman should be getting to the lab around this time, so I should try to get there before he starts to worry.”

“Ah yes, I suppose so. You will be coming for dinner? Byleth will be there, and I also have another special meal planned for tonight, so I hope it’s not too much to ask to join.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t be skipping on anymore invitations from the Emperor and Empress any longer.”

“Fantastic. But be sure to not be late, I wouldn’t want your meal to get cold waiting for you.”

“Yes, yes, I’ll see you then Mom.”

…

Did I just.

…

Leave. Run. Warp. Just get out. I don’t want to be in this room anymore.

Am I already in the halls? I don’t even remember getting here, all I know is I don’t want to alive right now.

I really just called Edelgard my Mom…

Arghhh! This is that damned Hanneman’s fault! Why did that old nincompoop even bring up the whole ‘parental’ nonsense yesterday!? When I find him I should vaporize him for that.

Okay, okay, just take a deep breath and calm down Lysithea. I shouldn’t actually consider vaporizing Professor Hanneman no matter how much of a stupid idiot he may be.

And you know what, I left that room so quickly, Edelgard probably didn’t even realize what I said.

Ha. Ha ha ha! Yeah, that’s right!

Right now she’s probably thinking that must’ve misheard me or something. Heck, I bet I misheard myself, ha ha ha! That’s totally it! Those pancakes were real sugary, I’m not used to that in the morning. Nothing more than a little squeak that left my mouth.

Yes! There we go, I’m already a lot calmer.

I bet this will all blow over by dinner; we probably won’t even remember it at that point. In fact, it’s barely coming to mind right now! Everything should be fine by the time evening rolls around.

* * *

Well that finishes the Crest research for the day! I must say, I can get used to this if this is all I need to do on the researching end. And now I get to have a special dinner made specially for me?

I’m in heaven!

Shame Professor Hanneman couldn’t join us, but he had plans meeting back up with Professor Manuela. I should check up on how his personal life is going, I’d prefer not being so out of the loop on everything that happened after the War.

Speaking of loops, I think I’ve been walking in circles for a while now. I swear I have passed this door at least five times already. Things were starting to look up too, and now I go and get myself lost.

“Ah, Lysithea!”

Nevermind, the Goddess has sent her angel!

“Professor! I haven’t seen you since you got me up, how did your fishing go?”

“It was a nice haul, but I’ve had better. Enough of that; would you happen to be lost by any chance?”

Is it that obvious? Well leave it to the Professor to figure out when you’re having a problem.

“Yes… I don’t think I’m going to be able to get used to how massive this castle is.”

“I’m the same way, this one time I got so lost I ended up just wandering the halls for a couple of hours. I missed dinner and nearly gave El a heart attack.”

A couple of hours? Well I guess I shouldn’t be too shocked, Professor is the same women who had to use a map to get around Garreg Mach even after living there for over a year. And that is nothing compared to this place.

“How’d you get used to it? Did it become easier the more you walked around?”

“Oh, Absolutely not.”

“Really? But you were with Edelgard when she gave me the tour, and I’m certain she gave you one as well.”

“Yeah, El did guide me around when I first got here. But, you know, she’s just so beautiful. Sometimes things just tune out when I’m with her and her face is all I can focus on…”

I should take it upon myself to remember that the Professor’s ability of reason completely nosedives in any and all situations relating to Edelgard.

“But if you do ever get lost you just have to look up.”

“Up?” I don’t see anything.

“Yeah, you see the black line running through the middle of the ceiling?”

“Uh-huh, but isn’t that just a part of the design?”

“Nope. That line will either bring you to our chambers, the main exit, or the dining hall. Otherwise all the places that I go! Since I just left our bedroom, following that will either bring me to the exit or where we need to be!

Follow me and we’ll get there eventually.”

Well it’s effective enough for now. “Thanks Professor. And I forgot to tell you before, but I’m sorry about the whole ‘delaying you wedding’ situation I caused.”

“Don’t mention it, I was fine just being with El.

And she thinks the same. Don’t tell anyone this, but the only reason the wedding even happened was because El always dreamt about having a big one when she was a kid. She couldn’t care less about some official ceremony to ‘legitimize the new era for Adrestia’ or whatever she says now.”

“Hahaha! Yeah, she called it something different before. But that sounds like something she would do.”

“I know right? Don’t mention that around her though, I can’t have her know that I’m telling you all this.”

I have to stop this giggling before I speak, “Will do Professor.”

The Professor put on a more serious expression, “Lysithea have you ever noticed how you still call me Professor after all these years?”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to offend you, it’s just that… well… you’re the Professor, you know? It’s kinda like a nickname for you at this point.”

“It’s not that I take offense to it. It’s always just the Professor, not even Professor Byleth like you do for Hanneman and Manuela.”

It is? I never put that much thought into how I address the Professor. Holy moly, it is! I really don’t add her name in.

“I’m not upset about it, it’s just that our relationship still feels the same as before. I guess I just want some things to be a little different after all this time.”

“I… think I get it?” Our relationship is more of the same. Though I can’t say I feel too strongly about it. I only just got my life back, so the monotony of everyday life was never really something I’d think too much on. Even then there are at least some things that should be different for her.

She and Edelgard got married, that should count for something- Oh who am I kidding, the biggest shock I got from that was how they forgot to tell me about it. Yeah, not much has changed for her.

I guess I could try and call her Byleth from now on. I remember Leonie told me about trying to do it and got cold-feet before she did, and I don’t think I can blame her. Byleth is certainly a pretty name, but I feel it'd just be weird calling her that.

It’s like calling your Mom by her… first… name…

Agh! I thought I told myself to quit thinking like that!

“Well that can be a talk about it for another time. We’re at the dining hall now.”

Huh? Oh right, I forgot our conversation for a second there. More importantly though, it’s time for dinner and I’ve been craving what they’d be serving since noon. I’m so excited!

Though I feel like I’m forgetting something… Well whatever, I can figure that out later. Sweet dinner here I come!

* * *

First a delectable roast glazed with berry, and now finishing it off with cake. The fluffiest, sweetest, most perfect cake I think I’ve had in my life. I can do with this sort special treatment. From breakfast to dinner, the chefs here are nothing short of flawless. I could eat their food forever.

It’s also nice to be joined by good friends as well. Professor already finished her cake and Edelgard wasn’t hungry for desserts, which just means more for me.

What can I do without is these two staring at me, it’s making me feel awkward. And the smug grin planted on Edelgard’s face really isn’t helping either

“So how has your day been El?”

Edelgard shifted her focus over to the Professor, “Mine? It was nice, though it would’ve been better if I had my lovely wife at my side.”

“El, you know I only go out on weekends for those fishing trips, and they’re not even that long. Every other day is solely for you.”

“Yes, but I want _you_ at all times _._ Every hour at every day.”

“If you want me so badly, I wouldn’t mind getting a little _convincing_ that’ll keep me behind…”

Goddess almighty, do these two understand time and place? I haven’t even finished my first slice of cake; I’d appreciate if these two don't make me lose my appetite.

“Byleth! That is not an appropriate way to talk with Lysithea here!”

Why are you whispering that like I’m some dumb kid? You totally goaded the Professor into that response. Great, now I’m getting too agitated to enjoy the cake.

Edelgard cleared up her throat, “Moving from that, how was your day Lysithea?”

“Good, Crest research can be quite dull on occasion though. But we’re making progress to our goal, slowly but surely.”

Edelgard nods her head to that, “You’re looking into giving anyone the power of a Crest, correct?”

“For now it’s more in lines with trading Crests with those that already hold one. Mainly examining the process when the Crest would enter its new host and applying that too-”

I’m talking like Professor Hanneman again, aren’t I? “uh, Basically, Professor Hanneman and I are taking things one step at a time towards that goal.”

“Oh that reminds me! Lysithea and I were talking before; about how she keeps calling me Professor and not Byleth or Professor Byleth.”

“Well that name that has stuck with you awhile now, my love. It even took me some time to get used to saying your name and you some time to call me El, even when you had permission to do so long before our marriage.

I don’t think you should worry so much over it. I find it amusing how those sorts of little names can stick with you, even if they came from seemingly nowhere. In fact…”

Why is she back to staring at me with that smug look? What is she thinking abou-

Oh Goddess no.

“Earlier today,” Please don’t be what I think it’s going to be. Please be wrong. Please. Please. Please.

“Lysithea called me Mom.”

…

Never thought I’d be committing regicide today.

“…Lysithea.” Whoa! When did the Professor get so close, and why is she looking so intense?

“Forget Byleth, or even Professor Byleth, can I be Mom too?”

What!?

“No! Absolutely, positively, completely and utterly declined! This is absurd! All I did was… misspeak, that’s it. I just wanted to be a little fancy in the moment and call her Mrs. Edelgard and then my tongue slipped and I ended up throwing something out that just sounded like ‘Mom’. Nothing more to it than that!”

“So you accidentally called El your Mom?”

“Yes, precisel-Arghh! No!”

“How come El gets to be your Mom?”

“Don’t fret so much over it, Byleth. It’s simply the natural progression of our relationship.”

Keep talking and the only thing you’re about to have a relationship with is a Dark Spike.

“But we’re married, I should definitely be her Mom too! Plus if it’s you, she needs me to be the cool Mom to balance things out.”

“I’m not quite sure what you’re trying to imply from that dear. Lysithea I’m plenty cool, aren’t I?”

These two might as well be arguing who I should vaporize first.

“Well you can answer that another time, but what happened really was just a slip of the tongue. I found it to be pretty humorous and wanted to bring it up with what we were talking about.”

Yeah, your height is pretty humorous too. Don’t see me bringing that up.

“How come I can’t have that sort of relationship with you too Lysithea?”

What is the Professor on about? “What do you mean?”

“Well you two are almost like family. Guess I’m a little jealous being an outsider to it all.”

Family? I never thought of it like that.

Also never thought Edelgard's and my relationship would be something to be jealous of either, half of our conversations end with me contemplating vaporizing her.

“If you really feel that way… I guess I won’t mind trying to do things a little different, uh, Bu-Byleth.”

Wow. Leonie was right, saying her name really does feel weird.

“It’s not my name that’s the issue, it’s about our relationship as a whole.”

“Then what was even the point of bringing it up!?”

“Oh, oh! Like that! Just like that! That’s what I mean.”

“What are you even talking about? Honestly Professor, I expect more from you in times like these.”

“You’ll have a relationship like ours in no time dear.” Why is _she_ talking?

“You two have annoyed me to the point of exhaustion. I can barely eat my cake in this state, I’m excusing myself and will have the rest of this in my own quarters. Away from the both of you.”

“Then make sure to bring your plate back to the dining hall once you finished, I don’t want any dirty dishes piling up in your room. Also Byleth should be able to join us tomorrow for breakfast, so I hope you’ll be willing to meet us then?”

“If I'm in a better mood by then, I’ll try.”

“Great!” The Professor is chiming in now, “And remember the black lines on the ceiling we talked about. Your room is only down the hall from ours, so it should still be okay to follow it and not get lost.”

That line system is actually a lot more convenient than I originally thought, I should probably thank Hubert for-

“And be sure to wash up before going to bed, if you’d like you can even use Byleth's and my washroom if it’d make you more comfortable. It’s the door right across from our room, if you close and lock the door we’ll be sure not to intrude.”

Oh, that actually doesn’t sound too bad-

“And try to get to bed before the moon reaches its peak. I’ll wake you up early again tomorrow for breakfast, so get plenty of sleep.”

What are-

“And also remember to brush your teeth. Researchers are finding an increase in sugar and sweets in a diet could negatively impact your teeth. You wouldn’t want to wake up with yellow teeth one day, would you?”

Alright, that’s it.

“And-“

“Enough! From the both of you!

First, my teeth are perfectly white and I resent the notion that they’re yellowing. Second, quit talking like my Moms! It’s infuriating!” This whole ‘Mom’ situation has become ridiculous.

The Professor let out a light gasp. “So…

You’re saying you do see me as a Mom with El?”

“Agggghh! I’m going to my room, and I’m taking this cake with me!”

I’m done with speaking to the both of these two for the day.

…

Just for now, I’ll take up the offer to use their washroom later. Only because you don’t get the chance use the Emperor’s Master Bathroom every day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to say: thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you all so much for your reception! I got super anxious when posting it, so getting the positive feedback that I did really meant a lot. So again, I'll say it until I'm blue in the face, thank you to everyone who commented, left a kudos, bookmarked, or simply read it. You all have my sincere gratitude. I'll try to update as best that I can.
> 
> Onto the chapter, Lysithea drops the Mom-bomb and the consequences will never be the same. Fun tidbit: Writing in first person can be super weird because you have to look at it from a perspective where you can tell it's strictly from the character's POV, but also tell what's going on and who might be speaking or doing what. I hope that made sense.


	3. The Wings to My Hegemon

I don’t like the feelings I’m getting right now.

I’ve been here a little over a week and every day the Professor has always been the one to get me up in the morning.

But today I got up all on my own and it’s making me suspicious. I don’t know if I got so used to her wake-up calls that I overslept through them, or if I got so used to them that I can just wake up on my own without her now. I’m getting all anxious because of it.

What I do know is that it’s too quiet. The sun looks to still be rising, so it’s not noon just yet.

Well maybe they’re preoccupied at the dining hall and she got too busy to get me.

* * *

Well looks like the dining hall is locked up, so there goes that thought.

There is a basket of fruit right by the door with a note right on top, might as well peak at what it says:

_Sorry we couldn’t come for breakfast, Empire business.  
The fruit in the basket is all for you,  
we’ll make sure to have a big dinner for tonight.  
– ~~Moms~~ E + B_

That’s Empire business for you. I can do with fruit in the meantime, there are certainly worse meals to have. I’m honestly feeling more annoyed by the presence of that crossed out ‘Moms’.

Might as well take the basket with me to the Lab, Professor Hanneman would probably enjoy some of these as well.

* * *

Professor Hanneman _would_ enjoy these, if he was actually here. What’s going on today? Professor and Edelgard being out is one thing, but Professor Hanneman too? That’s too much of a coincidence.

Thinking on it, did I even pass anybody in the hallways? I was too focused looking up, but I don’t remember noticing any guards, soldiers, maids, butlers, or diplomats, when I was walking through the halls. What the heck is going on?

This, this couldn’t be the work of a ghost could it?

No, no, no. Lysithea, don’t go saying dumb things like that. Ghosts only come out when it’s dark and spooky; the castle is still bright and relaxing, even if empty. Let’s not get too paranoid.

But maybe someone got lost and died in these halls, and no one managed to find them. And now they curse its inhabitants to feel their solitude as they wander the halls alone, only to then snatch their souls when they least expect it.

…

You know it wouldn’t hurt to lock up the door. Just to be safe.

* * *

It should be around noon at this point. I think I should be safe from any sort of spirit I’ve imagined up.

Honestly though, I just want a little break from doing all this work. I shouldn’t be getting so worked up about this, ghosts don’t appear in the day-

“Lysithea.”

“Gaaaaagh! Ghost!”

“Apologies to disappoint you.”

Oh thank goodness, it’s just Hubert.

He looks… exactly as he did during the War.

“Ah, Hubert. It’s, uh, good to see you after so long. Sorry about that, just thought you were-“

“A ghost, yes. You can rest assured that any spirit that wanders these halls I will be the first to know of it, and _I_ will promptly put an end to them once I find out.”

I don’t know if that makes me feel all too much better, but I’ll take what I can get. “Thanks for letting me know.

Oh yeah, I wanted to say sorry about getting Edelgard’s wedding delayed. And thanks for those lines planted in the ceiling. I assume you had a hand in both of those things?”

“Astute as always, I appreciate the consideration, but it’s not important. For now, I was sent here to escort you to Lady Edelgard.”

“Well that sounds good, lead the way.

By the way, where have you been all this time? I thought you were just hiding in Edelgard’s shadow like usual and was worried you didn’t want to see me.”

He put on a smirk, “I left a few days before you arrived to help conduct diplomatic matters for her Majesty. I arrived back last night, but I’m thankful you thought of my well-being in that time.”

“Don’t mention it, but one other thing, where the heck is everyone? It’s freaky walking around here when no one is around.”

He slowly began to nod his head. “Solitude can be quite calming but incredibly maddening. To answer your question, Enbarr was holding a celebration at the unveiling of the mural symbolizing Lady Edelgard’s victory in the War. It ended a short time ago, so people should be back to their stations soon.”

“Mural?”

“In the same vein to the historic pieces made to commemorate the beginning of a new moon. The celebration is to show people that a new era has begun within Fódlan.”

That sounds really, hold on.

“How come I wasn’t invited!?”

The entire capital attends and I’m just sitting around looking at Crests like some weirdo? Professor Hanneman probably even showed up to it, that’s how you know it’s bad.

“The ceremony was announced around a month before your arrival. Word of mouth must’ve died down when they began to prepare for your stay. More importantly, Lady Edelgard felt it necessary to present it to you privately.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because the painting also celebrates the complete and utter defeat of Those Who Slither in the Dark.”

Those that slither in the dark? What, like a snake?

“While I’m not exactly fond of things like snakes, I don’t know if it’s that necessary for me to celebrate them being exterminated.”

Hubert let out his creepy laugh, “No I speak of a different sort of vermin, though the ones you speak of have all been handled as well.

No, I speak of the group that placed you with the curse that only recently you removed after so long.”

Does he mean…

…

“And you got rid of all those guys?”

“Our raid on their base made sure of it.”

“Good.” Serves those jerks right, they ruined enough lives.

“Because of that, Lady Edelgard wishes to celebrate this victory with you. Knowing how much the both of you were affected by them.”

“Well I don’t have an issue with that, I’d just appreciate being told ahead of time.”

“I’ll be sure to inform Lady Edelgard of your feelings, and Lady Byleth for good measure.” He let that out with a smile.

“Heh, so the Professor is your Lady too now?”

“Actually that title was only given recently to our dear Professor.”

“What do you mean?”

“As of late she seems to be trying to make things different in her life. A few months ago she stopped wearing her usual coat and leggings, and moved on to the outfit you see now. She has also tried to have others call her by name. This was when Lady Edelgard… discussed with me to attempt to give our Professor a formal title as well. Needless to say after I addressed her as such, she stopped trying to go by her name to others.

I only still refer to her by it because she hasn’t told me otherwise, also I enjoy the humorous reaction it invokes when I say it.”

Well Hubert seems to be his usual self nowadays. But what he said about the Professor has got me thinking.

“Do you know what the Professor wants specifically? She did something similar with me the other day as well.”

“If I were to hazard a guess, I’d surmise she’s getting to the point where she desires to have children.”

“She’s thinking of having a kid!”

“Yes, while adoption is always a possible option. There are also practices, though more time consuming than typical, that can allow for couples of the same sex to-“

“Yes! I am very well aware of that, Hubert! Don’t need that image in my head!

That wasn’t what I was shocked by; I was a noble not too long ago, so I have heard of those, uh, practices.”

“Ah, my apologies, I should’ve expected as such. It is customary to teach _noble_ children on the off chance they could be put into that sort of relationship.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s kinda what I just said.”

“Yes, and yet would you be shocked to know that there are some who still get cold feet over the prospect of it? Despite the process only being uncommon due to the length being longer than the more traditional method. But as far as we’re concerned Lady Edelgard dismantled such an antiquated, traditional system that placed Crests on such a high pedestal. So it begs the question: why are there those who still get worried over such a practice? What makes them so afraid of having a child?”

“I, uhhhh…” Is he venting to me right now? “Are you okay?”

“Never better. A relation with a certain _noble_ can sometimes be agitating, to say the least. Nothing more.”

So he’s talking his own relationship? And why does keep emphasizing noble-

There’s no way…

Ferdinand!?

I don’t- but- how could-

And is that a ring on his finger? Dear Goddess it is.

Not only that, but they’re thinking about having kids too!?

Is this what it means to live above the age of 25? Everyone you know just ends up getting married and having kids? This is not what I signed up for after getting my life back.

“Lysithea?” Hubert interjected.

“Huh?”

“We’ve arrived at the Throne Room.”

“Oh sorry, just got lost in thought for a second.”

Edelgard stood with the Professor in the middle of the room, right in front of a large object covered by a drape which I assume would be the mural.

“Lady Edelgard and Lady Byleth, I brought Lysithea as you both wanted.”

Hearing Hubert say her name made the Professor shiver and put on a stare blanker than any she had when she was teaching at Garreg Mach. I can see why he would find it funny.

“For now, I shall be taking my leave.” And with Hubert gone, that just leaves us. I can’t deny that I’m a little excited to see what this painting will look like.

“I’m glad you’re here, I wanted to show this off to you personally.” Edelgard spoke up.

“I appreciate this and all, but can I at least get notified that I’m going to be all alone before you leave like that. This castle is incredibly unnerving when it’s empty.”

Edelgard let out a laugh, “I’ll remember to tell you next time you have the castle to yourself.”

I’ll ignore her patronizing tone for the moment. “Well let’s just get on with this. You brought me here to celebrate beating those creeps right?”

That seemed to jolt the Professor out of the trance Hubert put her in, “Lysithea, while they may have fought against us in the War, the Kingdom and Alliance armies were not creeps.”

“She’s talking about Those Who Slither in the Dark, my love. Hubert probably told her on the way here.”

Speaking of Hubert, he must be rubbing off on her because he called them the exact same thing. Though it does do a great job at describing those slimeballs.

“Regardless, let’s unveil this to her already. We have left her waiting since morning for this.”

“Right.” Professor quickly responded, as she and Edelgard moved to both sides of the painting, grabbing the drape covering it.

“Let’s do it to the count of three El. One… Two… Three!”

…

Wow. Grand would be describing this lightly, it really does look like the paintings that signify a new moon. This is something you could see living on for centuries in the future, a true marker for the beginning of an era.

To the left are clearly the nobles who are bowing their heads, showing compliance in the change she plans to bring, meanwhile on the right are the commoners who are all celebrating, knowing the Emperor shall be the one to help them rise. And Edelgard stands in the middle, a bridging the gap between upper and lower class, larger than life, with the flags of her adversaries at her feet. To the far left is someone with a mask and a knife hidden behind their back, turning in fear from the Emperor eyeing them.

“I wanted you to see this most of all,” Edelgard begins to speak.

“Our fight with them was done in the shadows, even before the War began. It was something that I hid from people. I was afraid that they might become in danger with such knowledge and… afraid that I would lose them if they knew the truth.

But that’s not going to be the case anymore, today I let the public know all about these people. I let them know who they were and what they’ve done. I let them know how we routed their base and tore it down to its last scrap. How this is no longer an age where those with power will rule in secrecy.”

She takes my hand and holds it in her own.

“As I said though, I wanted you to see this most out of everyone. Because this painting marks a special victory for you. I want you to see that these people have lost and that you, being with us, living now means they had no victories in the end. The tragedies you had to endure, I despise thinking about what they put you through, you can rest assure that will never happen again as long as Adrestia itself is alive.”

…

Great… This dumb Emperor made me go and tear up with that. And I really wish she didn’t look at me with that look in her eyes, because it’s making this crying a lot worse.

“Here use this.” Professor spoke up, handing me a handkerchief.

“Banks Probessor…” Ah, that came out wrong. I’m too nasally to be talking.

They both let out a laugh to that as I blow my nose. Though I think all those tears helped clear my vision because I’m noticing a lot more details in the painting. I can even see a rendition of Hubert, doing his typical orbiting behind Edelgard. But if he’s in here…

“Is there something you’re not liking about the painting?” Edelgard asked, noticing when I’m lost in my thoughts as always.

“No, it’s fantastic. I was just trying to see if I could spot the Professor.”

“Well you need to look no further than the figure to painting-me’s side.”

The figure to her side? Pretty sure she’s alone in the middle, well apart from the angel right next to her-oh.

“Wow, that’s so…” Tacky. “…powerful.”

“Thank you.

She is the wings to my Hegemon. Without her I would’ve fallen long ago.”

What in the Goddess’s name is a Hegemon? Is that even a thing? I have never once in my life heard of that before now. Not only that, but it's having an opposite effect on me because it sounds totally ominous.

Who let’s her say this stuff?

“Isn’t El a genius?” Well that answers that question. “I couldn’t tell you how honored I was when she told me her idea.”

I’m almost positive what actually happened was: Edelgard told the Professor what she wanted to do, the Professor missed 95% of whatever she said because she didn’t care for the painting to begin with, the Professor then agrees and praises Edelgard, to which Edelgard then responded with the typical swooning ‘Oh Byleth…’ or something like it.

“Oh Byleth stop, you’re embarrassing me…” Exactly like that.

Just a short time and I already know these two like they really were my Mom-Ack! Stop that Lysithea!

“You know, she was also the brilliant one that came up with the name for the Black Eagle Strike Force.”

No she wasn’t? “What are you talking about Professor? The Black Eagles house had that name almost a century before our classes attended Garreg Mach.”

The Professor shook her head, “Not the Black Eagles, the Black Eagle _Strike Force_ , it took the entire night before the attack at Garreg Mach for her to make.”

…

It’s just Black Eagles with Strike Force slapped at the end…

“I feel I should make things a little more clear on that. It didn’t take me the entire night to make the name,” Well that’s reassuring. “it only took me a few hours.” Nevermind.

“What took me the night was deciding _which_ name to use.”

“What do you mean El?”

“I had to make a choice between Black Eagle Strike Force, and Black Eagle Strike Team.”

How. How did it take an entire night, before a large battle at that, to choose between those names? It’s a one-word difference!

The Professor just tilts her head to that, “Black Eagle Strike Team?”

Edelgard nodded, “Overall I loved the sound of Black Eagle Strike Force, but I really liked how Black Eagle Strike Team’s first letters spell ‘Best’. I didn’t bring it up because I thought I’d get second thoughts if I did.”

The Professor just walks behind Edelgard and wraps her arms around her. “Tell me how I was lucky enough to marry the smartest, most beautiful woman in the world?”

And here comes the Edelgard response, seeing how she’s already positioning herself in the Professor’s arms. “Oh Byleth, I can't say I'm any of those things... All I know is that you deserve more than this entire world.”

Morons. I’m being raised by these morons- No! I’m _living_ _with_ these morons. Much better.

“Hey, could we maybe get back to the painting you both wanted me to see?”

They immediately split from each other and Edelgard cleared up her throat. “Apologies! Yes, well, we mainly wanted to show you that we defeated Those Who Slither in the Dark and have you see how important your life now truly is, and that Crests will never bring any harm to others again.”

There she goes describing them like that again. “Okay, that’s nice and all, but hold on. Why do I keep hearing that specific sentence every time those creeps are brought up?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why do you keep saying they’re ‘slithering in the dark’?”

Edelgard just looks confused, “Because… that’s their name?”

…

“Their name is Those Who Slither in the Dark?”

Edelgard somehow has the audacity to still look confused to that, “Um, yes?”

…

I thought that was just a Hubertism. It’s not even a name, it’s a sentence…

“Why would they call themselves that...?”

“That isn’t actually what they call themselves. It’s more a title that I gave to them. They may have lived in the darkness, but even if you lived within it you still wouldn’t be able to find them so easily. As they crawled even within the shadow’s crevices. Hence, Those Who Slither in the Dark.”

You know, after just hearing how she contemplated an entire night before a battle about whether ‘Force’ or ‘Team’ sounded cooler, I should’ve seen Edelgard’s fingerprints all over that horrendous name.

I think I was thrown into shock for a second over the possibility that my life was almost ruined by people that referred to themselves as Those Who Slither in the Dark. Thank the Goddess those slimeballs are dead, I don’t think I could ever handle hearing that name be said seriously.

Well the awful name did its job though, because that set the Professor off.

She’s now standing right in front of Edelgard, lifting her up chin. “Goddess El, I love your mind.”

Edelgard wraps her arms around the Professor and melts into her, and now she should let out the typical: “Byleth…”

That’s it. I’m leaving.

Seeing their stupidity in motion is beginning to take a toll on my mental stability. I also really don’t need to see them constantly get hot and bothered due to other breathing.

It really doesn’t help that everyone else is moving on ahead with their lives so much faster than me as well.

_That you, being with us, living now means they had no victories in the end._

Though I guess I can think of worse situations to be in though. The future doesn’t seem all too bad now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to you all! I wanted to post before the holiday, so I hope you all enjoy. Bear in mind, this chapter is a little headcanon heavy.
> 
> Fun Tidbit #1:This is what actually inspired me to make this fic in the first place. After beating Crimson Flower I had this question in the back of my head, 'Where was Byleth at the Mural at the end?' Hubert was in it, and Edelgard makes it clear how important she was to her. Plus Byleth can be found at the end of Azure Moon and Silver Snow (though not VW). But then I remembered something very important: Edelgard. Making Byleth some angel to her side and fit it in with some motif of being the Wings of the Hegemon, is just about the most Edelgard thing ever. From that I thought 'What would the other character's reaction be to that?', which evolved specifically into 'What would Lysithea's reaction be to that?', which evolved into 'What if I made this into a fic?'
> 
> Fun Tidbit #2: TWSITD being named by Edelgard has no real confirmation in the story, but it honestly sounds like something she would say and think fit them. Which she would then tell to Hubert, who would agree completely to it because he's never telling her it's dumb. Then Hubert will pass it on to others like it was something that was just their natural name.
> 
> Fun Tidbit #3: As Hubert mentioned, same sex babies do exist. Instead of being around 9 months however, the process would be around 12. Due to Crest culture Nobles preferred taking the shortest route in order to get their Crest baby faster. Though like Hubert said, that whole system is being done away with. Ferdinand is just nervous.


	4. That's Just Your Shtick

I’m beginning to think my days are too Crest dependent. Since I spent most of yesterday alone working, Hanneman made me leave early and have the rest of the day off.

That’s fine and considerate and all, since I now have all this free time for myself. Thing is, most of my free time is: sleeping, eating, or hanging around Edelgard and the Professor. There’s not much else that I do around here.

Besides Crests; which are fun but looking at them all the time begins to wear you out a bit. It also makes me feel like a mini Professor Hanneman; and while I respect the old man, I’m trying to be my own person here!

I think what I just need is a little hobby for myself in my free time.

I’ll think on it during lunch, I’m totally starving right now. Heck, maybe even Edelgard or the Professor could give me some pointers if I’m that desperate.

* * *

Edelgard seems to be waiting out right in front of the Dining Hall, “Hello Edelgard. So what shall we be having for lunch today?”

“Lysithea, I’m afraid I can’t join. I have some diplomatic meetings to attend to, and Byleth is still out fishing so you’re on your own for lunch today.”

“Ah well, I guess I’ll see you two for dinner then?”

“Yes, about that… I wanted to see you before I left to tell you something.”

What would she need to tell me? And why does she look so down, did she forget something important in that whole big speech yesterday?

“I wanted to sincerely apologize for Byleth’s and my behavior yesterday. That was highly inappropriate, and I don’t want you to ever feel uncomfortable being around us.”

Oh, is that it? “Edelgard, I appreciate the thought and all. But you and the Professor are married, you two getting all lovey-dovey with each other isn’t offending me. Is it gross? Yeah, but I don’t think less of either of you for doing it.”

“But you woke up before Byleth got to you and skipped breakfast this morning. We assumed you were unhappy and didn’t want to be near us after how we acted.”

“I’m just getting used to the Professor’s wake-up calls now, I was able to get up before she could wake me today. For breakfast, I wasn’t really feeling having anything big and wanted to finish off the basket of fruit you gave me. By the way, thanks for that, they were delicious.”

“So, was skipping dinner last night also not influenced by our behavior?”

…

Alright she got me there.

But that was way more because of their stupidity, rather than their doting on each other. Though I don’t think I should be telling her something like that.

“No, I… uh, wanted a different sort of meal than usual. Everything here is fantastic, but I wanted to try something at a town restaurant to widen my tastes a bit.” It’s not a lie, I really did want to try something new. I don’t know if I’d ever try doing it again though; the experience of asking for a ‘table for one’ gave me a newly found respect for Professor Manuela.

“I wasn’t aware you felt that way. Maybe Byleth and I could join you in the future.”

“I guess that doesn’t sound too bad.” Screw it, being a third wheel is way better than being alone.

“For now, you can ask the chefs to serve you whatever you’d like for lunch. I should finish up these matters by tonight, so I should be able to join you and Byleth for dinner.”

“Yes, yes, I’ll see you then.”

She frowned a little to that, “No Mom this time?”

“Edelgard!-“

“Be sure to behave yourself!”

I’m going to vaporize that tiny woman one of these days.

But that makes me on my own for most of today. Maybe I should try reading something in the Library after lunch.

* * *

Yeah, my days are definitely Crest dependent at this point. From this gargantuan royal Library, what I picked out are: _Advanced Theory in Crestology_ , _Crest Patterns: Importance of Design and Structure_ , and _Extinct Crests_.

Goddess, I really am a mini Hanneman. I bet if I wore monocle people probably wouldn’t even be able to tell us-

“Hey! Is that you Lysithea? It’s been forever!”

Well that scared me. Thankfully I recognize the loud voice. “Yes, it’s good to see you too, Caspar.”

Caspar looks more or less the same, I think his hair is a bit longer but that’s about it. Though his armor is jet black now, probably because of high standing in the Adrestian arm-Gaaaagh!

“Oh man, I haven’t seen you since the end of the War!” Hug. Too. Tight. “A lot of us got real worried about you. It really freaked us out that you missed out on all those weddings-“

“Can’t… breathe…”

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.”

“I… said…” I have to push his dumb face away from me, “That I couldn’t breathe, you nimrod! Next time don’t go bear hugging someone with a full suit of armor!”

“Heh whoops! Got a little lost in the moment there, sorry.”

“Well be sure to remember next time.”

“Will do!

It’s good to see you’re still the same Lysithea from way back.”

“Yes, and it seems you’re still the same…

…

Caspar did you say weddings, like with an ‘S’ at the end?”

“Yep, it was really crazy. There was a point where there was a wedding every-“

“I’ve heard enough…” I don’t even need to ask, this has Edelgard’s name written all over it. “Tell me, have you gotten married Caspar?”

“Me? Nah, it’d be too much of a hassle.” I don’t care if there’s an implication in there, that’s a victory for me. “But anyways, what are you doing in Enbarr Lysithea?”

“I’m here to study Crests with Professor Hanneman for the next six months.”

“Really? I thought you hated Crests?”

“It wouldn’t be that I hated Crests themselves, it was more that I resented how our culture placed so much value into having one. That’s why we’re working now to discover how to grant any with their powers, to prove they aren’t as special as people believed them to be.

Basically, I think they can have their merits.”

His eyes widened, “Huh, you know maybe you’re not all the same as before. I don’t think the old Lysithea would have said something like that.”

“Well our situations are a little different from each other. And I’m also much older now, so that just comes with it.”

“Since we're talking about the old you and your age now, I always wondered about that.”

“About what?”

“About how you got all worked up when someone brought up your age, or how you always tried to act older than you were.”

“I just felt it would drag me down at the time.”

“Really? I mean you’re only maybe a year younger than me and some others. I’m also positive you’re around the same age as Petra.”

Huh?

“Petra? You mean the Princess, probably now Queen, of Brigid Petra?”

He looks concerned, “Was, was there another Petra?”

“No! -I just…”

I never thought _Petra_ of all people was my age. She was the most mature looking person in our class! How am I only hearing this now, how did I never notice?

Was it height? No, if that were the case then everyone would’ve thought Edelgard was barely older than me.

Maybe, people took her more seriously? No, that can’t be it either. Despite the annoying teasing, everyone knew I was determined in my studies…

“I’m just a little shocked I never noticed, even with how obsessed I was over my age.”

“Maybe it was just because of your shtick?”

“Pardon me!?”

“You know, a shtick, the routine thing people have that they’re kinda just known for. Maybe it was because of your shtick, that you never really thought beyond it.”

“Caspar, what in the Goddess’s name are you saying?”

“Here let me give you yours: You were younger than everyone else, because of that you got real defensive about your age around people and didn’t want them thinking you were a kid. I’ll even give you Petra’s: She was a well-meaning and kind princess from a foreign land, but still a novice to Fódlan culture.”

“I… Okay, what was yours then?”

“That I was really loud and chewed with my mouth open.”

Oddly specific, but it sounds about right. “Alright then, Edelgard?”

He’s starts to stare up, like he’s trying to reach into his brain to find it. “She was a very competent leader and while harsh on the outside was very sweet and nice when you got to know her.

Though at times she could really annoying, and start pestering you like a mother would.”

Tell me about it.

“Okay, uh, Sylvain.”

“Horny.”

Eh, that was an easy one. “Hmm… Try Hubert this time.”

“Spooky and weird, but when you got to know him, he was still spooky and weird. Just in a way you were more comfortable with.”

Holy moly, he’s good at this! “Now Ferdinand!”

“Ferdinand’s was that he was Ferdinand.”

I hate how much sense that makes.

“I never figured that you were this perceptive of us all, Caspar.”

“Oh, I didn’t make them. Linhardt did.”

…

“What was Linhardt’s?”

“That he was smarter than everyone.”

Figures.

“Well whatever my ‘shtick’ was, it’s not that way now. It’s odd I never noticed that about Petra, but I guess I was too preoccupied to look beyond it like you said. My time was limited then, thankfully I don’t have to worry about it anymore.”

“That’s good hear! Me though, I’m still stuck with my old shtick. Can’t say I’m unhappy about it though, just who I am!”

_Who he is._

Honestly all those traits, bar Linhardt’s, probably still hold true. Meanwhile the old me who would constantly get hung up about her age has no reason to exist any longer. I know the situation I was in wasn’t my fault, but I’m regretting how I missed out on so much. I don’t think I really know who I am at this point…

“You alright? You looked real bummed out after I said that.”

“Yeah, guess I’m wondering what my ‘shtick’ is now.”

“Well, what do you do nowadays?”

“Pretty much spend most of my time studying Crests.”

“Like Professor Hanneman- “

“Erase that from your memory.

I actually don’t do much around here.”

“Uh… Okay, then do you get yourself thrown into the same antics a lot?”

Certain antics… “I am finding that I end up in a lot more hectic situations involving the Professor and Edelgard than I ever did before.”

“Like what?”

“Sometimes they just get all… parental when I’m around. It didn’t help that Edelgard _thought_ I called her ‘Mom’ the other day.”

“I don’t think that counts all too much.”

“How come?”

“I mean, I’m pretty sure _everyone_ in the Strike Force has called Edelgard their mom at some point. I know I’ve done it a couple of times, and I’m pretty sure Linhardt has too. Not a regular thing, but we’ve all had that mistake happen to us.”

Well it’s a nice feeling to know I’m not the only one who slipped up around her, “Do you remember Edelgard’s reaction when you did it?”

“Her reaction? Uh, nothing really. Pretty sure she just continued on with whatever we were doing at the time.”

Well that feeling was short lived, she most definitely takes joy in me saying it. I also doubt the Professor has ever directly asked anybody in the Strike Force to call her Mom either; so that feeling was dead from the start anyways.

“Though, now that you mention it, that reminds me of something I would think about during the War.”

“What?”

He looks around, like to check to see if we’re alone. “Okay, so what if, and bear with me on this one, the Professor and Edelgard were my _actual_ moms?”

…

“Like… adopted moms? Like if they would adopt you during the War?”

“No, no, not adoption. Like they were my legit parents.”

…

I…

“Caspar… you do realize you’re only maybe two years younger than Edelgard, and maybe five than the Professor?”

“I know, I know, I know, crazy right?” More stupid than anything else. “Let me make it a little more clear. What if I'm their child born in the future, but was sent back in time when I was a baby?”

I…

“A little hard to believe, I know, I don’t even believe it fully myself,” Then why are you still talking? “but hear me out. Don’t you think it’s a little weird how my hair color is almost the perfect mix between Edelgard and the Professor?”

“Caspar, no… Edelgard’s hair lost its pigment, that’s not her natural color.”

“Pig-what?”

“Pigment. The thing that gives our hair its color. When your hair is white, like Edelgard’s and mine, that means it lost its pigment.”

“Okay… But if Edelgard lost her pigment, how could she give it to me?”

I…

“Honestly, that’s sort of tripping me out because my pigment would definitely equal the Professor’s pigment plus Edelgard’s negative pigment.” Did he just say negative pigment? He literally made that up. “If you thought that was insane, I got a real doozy for you now: I can’t recall anything from when I was a baby. I got total amnesia any time before I was two…”

I…

“Caspar… _No one_ remembers their time as a baby.”

“Says who?”

“Science, for one.”

“Pfft. What kind of name is Science?

Lysithea, being real with you, I would trust that I was raised by Edelgard and the Professor way more than a guy whose parents thought ‘Science’ was a good name for them.”

I… I can’t handle this any longer!

My vision is turning red thanks to this idiot! He just- I can’t-

For one _Edelgard_ is the type of parent who would think ‘Science’ is a good name for a child, and it bothers me he’s saying this without knowing that.

And for two, forgetting the ridiculous amnesia comment, what makes this idiot even think he would know the first thing about being raised by them? Not that I would know or anything, wait… Damn it! He’s got me mom-thinking!

I have felt my intellect drop thanks to this conversation, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to recover what I lost.

“But that was just something I would think about occasionally, nothing really special. It’s just a theory, a mom-theory to be more precise.”

No, it’s not. It’s just you being an idiot, a massive-idiot to be more precise.

“Caspar, why on Earth are you in this Library?”

“This is the Library? Dang! I was trying to go to the Courtyard. I always end up getting lost when I’m here.”

“What would you need?”

“I don’t really need anything, I come to the palace to drop off my report every couple of weeks. I already got that done, so I figured I could try taking a nice run around the castle. It’s built in a way that really helps with that stuff. I just wanted to drop off my armor before I did, and I know there’s a place to do that in the Courtyard.”

“Well, if you’re that lost, I can take you there if you’d like.” He probably doesn’t know the line system.

“You can? Awesome thanks Lysithea!

…Actually, if you’re looking for something new to do so badly, how about joining me in my run? It would be a better workout than sitting around here all day.”

Running? Most physical activity never resulted in much good before, but I guess it shouldn’t kill me to try it this once.

Also I’m pretty sure my brain got fried from this nimrod’s ‘theory’, so I don’t think reading will result in much right now.

“Alright…

Just let me get changed and then I can bring you down to the Courtyard.”

“Sounds great!”

* * *

Soul… leaving… body…

Must…find…place to… lay…

“Woo! Really gets the blood pumping! Come on get up! We’re not even halfway there.

“Not… even... h-half? I thought… that was… it.” My legs feel like jelly, I don’t think they even have the energy to stand.

“Well you look worked enough, so you should rest up. I wouldn’t be discouraged if I were you, you did great! Usually Linhardt would quit after the first, so you did better than him if that helps.”

First? “How much did we... run?”

“About two kilometers.”

Two kilometers!? Forget quitting, I’d probably pass out before the first.

“Wow… Thanks for joining me for that Caspar.”

“No, thank _you_ for joining me. Always fun to have someone with you on these. But you should try doing this on your own time, if you’re still looking for something to do that is. I can definitely see you improving at this if you keep trying. Though, uh, that’s just a little recommendation, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.

I gotta get going though, I don’t want to mess up this groove I’m in! See you later Lysithea!”

“I’ll consider it for- and he’s gone.”

I didn’t think I could stick around that long. At the Monastery I would always overexert myself just to prove my abilities to others, it was foolish looking back on it. I had to kill the habit when we were trying to remove my Crests, to conserve as much energy as I could for myself. Ironically enough, that conserving sort of became a habit for me too. And it’s been stuck with me even after my Crests were gone. Not anymore though because look at me now, from being out of breath from menial tasks to conquering two whole kilometers!

I can’t wait to tell the Professor and Edelgard about this!

…

Uh, just because it might interest them, yes, nothing else.

Regardless, getting rid of those two Crests has definitely gone and changed me. And if that’s the case, I think it’s time to see what this brand new Lysithea can do!

That is, of course, after my legs stop feeling like jelly and I’m capable of moving again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as Edelgard/Byleth mom heavy, but still get some of doses of it. Mainly Lysithea and Caspar centric, so I hope you enjoyed the antics of these two dumbasses (Though dumbasses for very different reasons). Also, this wasn't a shot at Awakening or anything like that, I actually really like the game. I just wanted to have a situation where someone would mention that sort of time-travel scenario, and Caspar seemed to be the perfect representative.
> 
> Fun Tidbit: Caspar is the Minister of Military Affairs and leading general of the Imperial Army. He tends to go on any sort of scouting mission he can because he can't get used to living 'like a minister' (and probably never will). When he's not doing that he's with Linhardt, who lives at Garreg Mach because they offered him a free place to stay. Any time they also try to offer him to teach, he locks himself in his room for a week, only letting Caspar in if he's around.


	5. Medical Emergency

“So…” Professor Manuela taps her fingers on her chair. “...what was this emergency that the _three_ of you so desperately needed me for?”

“I could ask the same question Professor Manuela, because I didn’t need you for anything. You should be asking that to Emperor and Empress over there.” This entire situation has become completely ludicrous.

Meanwhile those two are just sitting in the corner, hugging each other like some scared housewives.

Edelgard speaks up, “Professor Manuela, you have to understand. There is something wrong with Lysithea.”

‘Something wrong’, yeah okay. Only thing that’s wrong here is whatever’s going on in that head of yours.

“Yes Edelgard, I understood there was something wrong when Hubert suddenly arrived at my door, forced me up, and warped me right to the castle gates. I’m just a little curious why you couldn’t have maybe gotten, I don’t know, the numerous other medical practitioners that work at the capital?”

“Well we trust your word over anyone else, and we felt we needed you most at this time.”

“I appreciate the thought, except I was under the impression that Lysithea here was in some kind of critical condition; but no, apparently I’m needed in order to give her a routine check-up just about any nurse can do.”

“Manuela, I know how it looks but something is wrong here.” The Professor adds in, I should be calling her the traitor for betraying me like this.

“Okay then Professor, can you tell me what’s so wrong with her?”

“For the past few weeks she’s began to take more and more jogs around the castle and is starting to become obsessive with her health.”

“Alright then…

Lysithea, could you elaborate on what the Professor just said?”

“Recently I’ve wanted to get more in shape, so for the past three weeks I’ve started to run laps around the castle as exercise. I only do it around four days a week, the other days I rest. I couldn’t tell you why they’re so worried over this; the Professor even joined me a few times.”

That should explain it enough. I don’t know if Professor Manuela heard me though, seeing how she has one of those 1000-yard stares plastered on her face.

“Edelgard. Professor.

I hope the both of you realize what she just said was completely acceptable and healthy. As in, not a medical crisis, as in, I didn’t need to be forcibly teleported to come and look at this.”

Edelgard is breaking her hug with the Professor, “Professor Manuela the running isn’t the issue. It was an odd development, but we didn’t mind, like she said Byleth even joined her on occasion. The issue has become her mentality as a whole; it’s consumed her. Just last night… she… she asked for, for”

Oh for Goddess sake, why are you choking on your words? Quit being such a baby, it wasn’t that big a deal.

“She asked for a plate of raw broccoli for dinner…”

…

“Well you could’ve mentioned she was cursed to begin with.”

“Professor Manuela! Not you too! Why do I have to keep telling you people this, that’s perfectly normal!”

“Lysithea. Have you ever eaten anything green, much less a vegetable, before this little… health kick of yours?” Professor Manuela sighs out.

Anything green? Well, I remember having this one pastry with this green frosting before and it was super deli-Stop! Bad thoughts, Lysithea!

“Why does that even matter? I’m trying to change up my lifestyle here.”

“That’s fine and dandy, but I hardly think a stick of simple broccoli is all too appetizing. No matter how healthy.”

“Ha, Professor Manuela…” It seems she too is ignorant to the path of true fitness, “ _Who said food was supposed to taste good?_ ”

Edelgard lets out a yelp to that and is back to holding the Professor. “You see Professor Manuela? S-she must have been taken over by some sort of fitness curse. You must help her, I beg of you!”

The Professor just mouths off ‘please’ towards Professor Manuela while comforting the tiny, hysteric, stupid Emperor. Fools, the both of them.

“Don’t listen to either of them, Professor Manuela! In fact, the only person who needs to get checked on is her! How about you check and see if she’s stricken with some stupid idiot curse?”

“Don’t worry, El. That was the curse talking, not her.” The Professor tries to whisper to Edelgard, too bad we can hear you.

“No, that was definitely me, and you know what? You should get checked too, Professor! You two are completely absurd, Professor Manuela did you know these two idiots barricaded me in my room last night? Because they did. If that doesn’t tell you they need way more help than me, I don’t know what will.”

Edelgard starts speaking up, “That was only done because we had no idea what she might do to herself if we left her to her own devices. As you can see, she’s already showing signs of becoming feral. If anyone can fix a curse like this, it’s you Professor Manuela.”

“Feral!? Did you just call me feral?! Try saying that one more time and I swear I’ll vaporize-“

“Enough!” Woah, I didn’t think Professor Manuela could scream that loud.

She’s pinching the bridge of her nose now. They must’ve given her a headache.

“You three…” Why am I being included in this?

“…Have made me actually start to think that I’m getting too old for this. And that might be the worst sin you could ever commit.”

She turns to the fools, “Mrs. Emperor and Empress, the both of you are almost 30. You should be able to handle a change in a friend’s behavior, no matter how strange, with a bit more tact.”

Edelgard slumps her head in defeat to that. Heh, serves you right.

“But you thought she was cursed too when El told you about the broccoli.” The Professor tries to raise a point.

“No, I said you could’ve ‘mentioned she was cursed to begin with’, not that she was honestly cursed. That doesn’t matter, don’t try to change the subject.”

The Professor slumps her head as well. Heh, serves you right too.

“And you,” Me?!

“You’re just about almost 30 too, you should know by now that eating a stick of broccoli won’t magically make you fit. And you should also show a bit more tact when others are concerned about your wellbeing.”

What does she mean? It’s a green veggie, don’t they always- wait. Almost 30!? I’m 24! That should round down to 20!

“I’m not-“

“I don’t want to hear a peep. From any of you.”

But…

Great, now I’m thinking I’m getting too old for this.

She stands up and begins to straighten herself, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I had quite the crummy date last night and I don’t appreciate being woken up and dragged into this fiasco. Next time, try to act just a bit more in line!”

“Yes, Professor Manuela…” The three of us speak in unison.

She lets out a huff and struts out the room to that. Where she could be going, I have no idea.

Just the three of us now, the silence is already uncomfortable.

“I believe,” Edelgard is the one who manages to break it this time, “that we owe you an apology for this entire situation:

I’m sorry I accused you of being taken over by a fitness curse… I also apologize for calling you feral.”

The Professors nods, “And I’m sorry that I boarded up your room last night. I should’ve been the one to see how hectic it was getting, and I didn’t, I’m also sorry if I let you down…”

Oh no, you didn’t let me- Great, I’m starting to feel really bad. Especially since I played a part in how much this escalated. “I’m sorry too. For exploding at you guys, I know you both are just worried about me at the end of the day…

…I’m also sorry for calling you both stupid idiots, and for threatening to vaporize you, Edelgard.”

She smiles to that, “No need to apologize. We shouldn’t have been so hasty with you. From here on out, we’ll do our best to support you.

Speaking of which, if you are this serious about getting in shape, I would like to help you.”

“Okay… And what might that be?”

“There is an exceptional personal trainer in the Empire that I’m positive would be happy to help you with this.”

“El, do you mean…”

Edelgard nods to the Professor’s question, “Yes, I think he would be happy to work with her. I’ll send word to get them here by tomorrow.”

“Do they live far away or something?”

“Only in Varley territory, but I know that he’s busy working with another person, so I’m not sure how quickly they could get here. But would that be alright with you?”

Someone from Varley? As in Bernadetta’s home? Can’t say I don’t have my doubts about that, but if Edelgard says this person is exceptional, they’re most likely exceptional.

“It’s worth a shot. I’ll do it.”

“Great! Though even if we did want them by today, we couldn’t if we tried. We don’t have Hubert around to warp them, we also used the resources for a larger range warp on Professor Manuela.”

“Wouldn’t Hubert have just teleported right to Professor Manuela’s house or something? He couldn’t be that far from the capital.”

“Manuela lives over in Garreg Mach, she’s their new headmaster. So Hubert is stuck over there.” The Professor chimes in.

That makes sense then- All the way from Garreg Mach! That’s almost half the country! The amount of resources to cover a distance like that is insane. I’d be flattered they went to such an extent for me, if only they didn’t do it for something so stupid.

But that’s got me thinking… “Odd, I remember Professor Hanneman telling me he had dinner with her around the time I started living here.”

“Hmmm, well if it was a few weeks ago, I know that she came down to visit in order to set some things up between…

Byleth, where did Professor Manuela go?”

“Um, I think I saw her taking a left after leaving.” The Professor points to the door towards the direction Professor Manuela walked.

“So, she went in the direction of our wine cellar?”

“We have a wine cellar? I never knew, I guess she did when you put it like-

Oh.”

They both shot up after the realization.

“You two need any help?”

Edelgard just shakes her head to the offer, “No this is something we started, so we’ll be the ones to fix it. You should go on and work like normal for today. I’ll make sure to send word to the trainer so they can arrive by tomorrow.”

“Also, we’ll talk to our chefs and make sure they’ll serve up something healthy, and delicious, tonight for dinner. Just for you.” The Professor adds, “But El, we have to get going, who knows what Manuela could be doing? Plus, I didn’t even know that we had wine cellar, I need your help getting there.”

Edelgard takes the Professor’s hand and they start to follow Professor Manuela’s trail, “We’ll get all this settled by tonight, we might even have her over for dinner, so try your best to make it!” Her yell fades out as they go further down the halls.

I would tell them that this castle is too huge for Professor Manuela to find where they stash all their alcohol just like that. But knowing her, it wouldn’t surprise me if she had an actual sense for those sorts of things.

Though I’m curious who this trainer might be. The way she talked about them, it sounded like someone I would know. But I can’t think of anyone on the top of my head who came from the same place as Bernadetta, apart from her. But she’s definitely not the trainer type, well, at least she wasn’t.

Ah well, even if I don’t end up knowing them this should still help me in reaching my ultimate goal. I’m excited to see how tomorrow will go.

* * *

I’ve barely had time to think this morning. The Professor rushed me out of bed to meet with the trainer in the courtyard. She didn’t even mention who I should be looking for.

And yesterday I couldn’t get an answer from her or Edelgard about who this person is. As it turns out, randomly teleporting the headmaster of Garreg Mach unannounced gives people the impression that you may have kidnapped them. Which then requires a bunch of back-and-forth between everyone. Really didn’t help they had to sober up Professor Manuela to get that cleared away.

They’re still busy getting that sorted out, meanwhile I’m just standing here. All by myself. I’m starting to feel really awkward now. I just hope I don’t get in someone’s way.

“Um... Excuse me…”

And of course that’s exactly what I end up doing, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to stand in-

Bernadetta!”

Didn’t expect to see her. Well if the person is from Varley it would make sense that they invite her along with them. Maybe she could be the trainer…

Nah, she still seems to be the same as before. Though she has changed up her look; Her hair is still in the same style since the war, but much longer. She’s wearing a more noble getup of her old archer outfit as well, probably made to be worn more formally.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here. How have you been?”

She takes a deep breath to that, avoiding eye contact to stare at a bush instead. Nervous as always, I’ll admit though she is a lot less frantic-

“Hraaaaggh!” What the, “I’ve been doing. Hyah!” Why is she doing punching motions in the air? “Good! How about yourself!”

“Uhhh, g-good. I’ve been, um, feeling pretty good lately…” What in the Goddess’s name is she doing?

“That’s great to hear!” Still yelling, alright then. “Some of us!” Now she's switching over to kicking the air. “Were really concerned! About you!”

Okay, people are beginning to stare. I’m getting secondhand humiliation from this conversation. “Thanks for the concern. But could you try lowering your voice and keep still? You’re starting to embarrass me.”

…

Well that stopped whatever took over her. She’s just standing still, wide-eyed. This seems a little more Bernadetta-esque.

Oh, and now she’s kneeling over and covering her face, that’s classic Bernadetta.

“Aah! Raph, I’m sorry, I just can’t do it anymore! It’s too much for me!”

Raph? Ah, that explains the trainer.

“Don’t worry so much, Bernie! That was great!” Woah! How was Raphael hiding in that bush? He’s still huge as ever, and I still didn’t notice him. I don’t think anyone around here did. He’s nimbler than I remember him being.

Raphael doesn’t seem that different than before, but I can see a change. His sideburns are just a bit longer, but the most noticeable thing is the beard stubble that’s now growing on his face. His clothes also have that noble flair that Bernadetta’s have, and they have the Raphael-signature top button popping out, like everything else he’s worn.

“But man, it sure is great to see you Lysithea!”

He pulls me into a big hug; thankfully he knows enough to hold back on his bear-like strength.

“Yes, yes, you too Raphael.” I can’t lie; it’s nice to see someone else from the Golden Deer after so long. I’ve been seeing so many of the Black Eagles that I’m almost forgetting that I wasn't in their house to begin with. “I assume you were the trainer from Varley?”

“That’s right! We left the second we heard you were looking for help to get in shape.”

“We?”

“Yup, me and Bernie here.” He motions over to a still kneeling Bernadetta and she gives me a little wave. “She’s going through her own sort of training. Something a little different than what you’re doing.”

“What’s her training for?”

“I-I’m, uh…” She’s actually speaking up now. “I’m trying to-um… get better. Around people. I’m showing some improvement, as you saw before, b-but Raph and I are still working on it.”

If you count randomly screaming, punching, and kicking then I guess she improved. Well at least she’s not running away screeching that she’s about to be murdered.

“So she’ll be training along with me?”

“Sure will. I got something really cool planned out for you and Bernie.”

The way he’s throwing out that nickname is getting me a little suspicious. “So your relationship with Bernadetta is mainly as a trainer and trainee, nothing else? Just curious.”

“Uh… Not that I’m aware of. Bernie sometimes cooks for me, so I guess we’re chef and eater at times. Right, Bernie?”

“W-what? Oh, uh… yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, trainee and trainer or chef and eater. J-just that! Nothing else!” Her face is beat red, and her eyes are just about as wide as humanly possible. Despite what that’s implying it also means they’re not married. Which is another score for me! More former classmates who aren’t married, guess I’m not all too behind on everything.

“Well that’s all for us, but how about you. I remember you used to say that training was a big waste of time when I offered it to you. Though can’t say I’m complaining now, it’s always great to see someone have a change of heart.”

“I have _a lot_ more time nowadays, so I’m willing to spend it on some things that I didn’t do before. I also enjoy the feelings I get after I have a successful- Hold on, when did you offer to train me?”

“Oh, it was way back during our school days at Garreg Mach. You yelled at me right after because I accidentally called myself your ‘Big Bro’ at time.”

“Ah yes…” That explains why I forgot. Though I’m beginning to realize that people have this strange fascination with making me one of their family members. Must be because one of those damned schticks.

“None of that really matters now. Who am I to say no to someone who wants to get more muscles? That’s my forte!”

Speaking of; his schtick seems to be the same as before.

“Anyways, before we get to it. Did you have any goals in mind, Lysithea?”

“I want to end up a healthier person than when I started.”

“That’s good and all. But anything more specific? Like running a certain distance, or getting massive muscles, or even being able to swing a heavy weapon like nothing? Bernie here is training to hold a regular conversation with people if you need a better example.”

“No, I most certainly know what you mean by goal. It’s just…”

That’d be way too embarrassing to say here, there are still people around. “…Can we maybe go and talk about this somewhere more privately? Just the three of us, I know the walkways around the castle tend to be pretty empty around these times. Can we go there first?”

“Fine by me, lead the way! Come on Bernie let’s go.”

* * *

“Wow, this place is super pretty. Ain’t it Bernie?”

“Sure is, Raph. I can always do for some peace and quiet by myself… and you, of course… oh and you too, Lysithea.”

“Thanks. Anyways this is a good place as any to tell you what goal I had in mind.” No one seems to be around.

“Aright, let’s hear it.”

He sure seems excited to find out, Bernadetta oddly does too.

“I… kinda want… to get, uh…

a six pack”

“Sorry Lysithea, I think the wind’s blowing in my ear. I couldn’t hear you there.”

Bernadetta nods, “Yeah, I couldn’t hear you either. Could you repeat that?” Why is she so invested in this?

“I said,” I can’t believe I’m saying this. “that I wanted to get a six pack… Nothing crazy, something along the lines of Edelgard or the Professor’s muscles. But not too much like theirs, because I’m absolutely not trying to copy them or anything like that. I just want my own six pack.

There I said it.”

…

Bernadetta didn’t have any noticeable reaction to that, at least none that aggravate me. Meanwhile Raphael is silently laughing to himself, he better have a good reason for that or I’m vaporizing him.

His laughter dies down, “Lysithea, Lysithea, Lysithea… Six pack? I can help you get an _eight pack_.”

“E-eight!? Is that possible?”

“If it’s muscles we’re talking about, you’ve come to the right guy. I promise you by the time we leave, your core is gonna be able to shred cheese.”

Shred Cheese?! Holy moly, I can’t pass an opportunity like this up!

“Alright Raphael, where do we begin?”

“Awesome! Let’s get right into it then!

First things first: Try to have a ten minute conversation with Bernie.”

…

Huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit a little bit of writer's block when making the chapter, but I liked what I ended up with. Anyways this chapter fills the quota of parents believing their child having symptoms of the common cold are actually symptoms of some unknown, extremely rare, killer virus. Only in this case, the child's age roughly rounds down to 20 and she's grumpy through the entire thing. Moving from that, I always love the endings where Bernadetta is able overcome her abuse and become a less anxious person and Raphael is one of the people that help her do it, so I wanted to write how he did it in real time.
> 
> Fun Tidbit: Raphael has drastically increased his stealth abilities making sure Bernadetta's conversations don't go badly for her. Despite how better he's gotten at hiding, Bernadetta can always spot him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic so I'm not too sure how this all goes, but I do hope you all enjoyed this.  
> I live a pretty hectic schedule, but I'll try to be as active as I can. Apologies in advance if I'm slow on that as well.


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